A great summary of the life of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex since their departure from the UK

Just a few weeks ago, royal historian Tessa Dunlop was crying to Us Weekly about how the Duchess of Sussex needs to “tread lightly” while the Princess of Wales is dealing with cancer. Dunlop basically said that the Sussexes need to act compassionate and stay undercover, in case they invite comparisons to a certain lazy egg and his photo-manipulating wife. Nevermind that the “tread lightly” standard wasn’t used on Kate’s own family members, who were off on beach vacations and ski holidays. Nevermind dodgy Gary Goldsmith’s tacky displays on a reality show in the UK. No, all of that was fine – but Meghan’s strawberry jam might harm Kate’s recovery! In any case, Dunlop is back in time to cry about the Sussexes’ glorious polo weekend in Flordia:

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s ‘sun-drenched’ polo exploits proved ‘bittersweet’ for their royal relatives back in the UK, an expert has claimed. According to royal historian and expert Dr Tessa Dunlop, the appearance seemed worlds away from the royals back home.

And Tessa added that thanks to Netflix, the appearance has allowed the Sussexes to raise money as well as make cash. She added: “So yes, there was something a little bittersweet about the Sussexes’ sun-drench exploits this weekend. Just as our own beleaguered royals are forced to go to ground with a myriad of health problems, Harry and Meghan dazzle in untouchable designer whites, parading their exquisite pedigree Stateside. Who else could so seamlessly pivot from a panel on Africa to the polo pitch in 24 hours? Thanks to Netflix, the Sussexes have squared the circle of raising money and making money all at the same time. Like it or not, Prince Haz has still got it. And if Meghan has anything to do with it, this is just the beginning.”

There was something a little bittersweet about the Sussexes’ sun-drench exploits this weekend…” Royal historians and royal experts are going to need IV bags full of copium. We could tell in real time, as the polo photos and videos came out, that it was another big win for Harry and Meghan. We saw the derangement happen in real time, as haters pretended to be mad about Meghan’s heels or her dress or her jewelry or how she asked the Sentebale CEO to stand next to her. All of that hate to deflect from the fact that the Sussexes won and the Windsors lost. The British media lost. The royal historians lost. The Sussexes are happy, healthy, wealthy and free.